Nurse Jordan

No one wants to think about dying, much less talk about it. Putting off the conversation means that we never talk about it. So many people do not die the way they want. Consider this fact: Seventy percent of people want to die at home, but seventy percent die in the hospital, according to The Conversation Project. These pictures reminded me of some of the differences between the home and the hospital. Everyone should have that choice, but sometimes a person with a terminal condition cannot speak for themselves, and they have never expressed their desires to family members.

No one wants to burden their family members with making decisions for them. Unfortunately, when decisions need to be made in the intensive care unit about withdrawal or withholding of treatment, studies suggest that less than 5% of patients are able to participate in the decision-making process. Almost all states have a legal form that a  person can fill out to express their wishes, and name a medical power of attorney. In fact, The Conversation Project reports that 82% of people say it is important to put their wishes in writing, but only 23 % have an advanced directive or Living Will.

Why can't we talk about death? It is not a disease that we catch by talking about it. As Alexandra Drane pointed out, "Talking about sex won't make you pregnant and talking about death won't kill you." Maybe we just need to change our perspective. Aren't we really talking about how we want to live up until the moment we die?

It seems like there are a few important events in our life: marriages, births, and deaths. We all prepare for births and marriages for months in advance, hire wedding planners and doulas, and have long discussions with various family members about our choices. The only thing about end-of-life decisions is that the date is unknown, though it is inevitable. With the uncertainty of when it will happen, it seems like we ought to be prepared.